Hotel Books - Constant Collapse

There is nothing here for me
But I am here for you
So I will never leave
And I'm starting to believe
Every time you said you love me
You were just talking in your sleep

And I said I would die for you
But that was before I knew
That's all you wanted me to do
And time and time again
I can tell you I hate you
But that won't ever make it true
Even during the good times
When you kissed me
I didn't want to open my eyes
Because I didn't want to realize
How hollow our love was
But now that it's over
I'm still here, and all I want to know was love

And I only talk about you in the past tense
Because through all of this mess
It's the only thing that makes sense
And all I do these days is want
But I've settled for wishful thinking
And neglecting, and justifying my emptiness
Because it's easier to see what you have
When you see what your neighbor lacks
I would give an arm and a leg
Just to have my arm and leg back
And I worked so hard to help you find truth
Just to slowly learn that your silence says
Just as much about your character
As your words do
We gave our love away

I always thought that I would be okay
I never thought I would be okay
Through this silent note, what constitutes the truth
Cause I can tell myself
Time and time again
That I'm not making sense of this

And that cross around your neck was more
Hollow than your head
But I still just wanted to follow you to bed
I never listened to my own voice
Maybe some of us embrace death
But some of us don't have a choice
And maybe I'm both because I didn't choose this
But that doesn't mean I'm going to change
Because I never do, and you never did
And it scared me away
And that's why she still cuts your skin for you
And that's why that she's still in you
And her name is acceptance
And she used to kill me, and now she is killing you
And through all this stress
And carried out disastrous distress

I've learned I really don't like you
But I forgive you
Because I love you
I love you